Aaron Gardner Disease (AGD) definition: the disease that encompasses all mystery or unknown diseases. So that weird rash on your leg, AGD. The rogue boob hair that grows from the side, AGD. Have any of your friends ever told you that you're too masculine, AGD. That itch you can't scratch, AGD. Are you pregnant, AGD. Did you poop/sneeze and pop a disc, AGD. Scissoring, increased consumption of Sriracha, the Aaron Gardner Face (explanation to follow), vagina punching, jean cut-off shorts, pink elephant thongs, mens swimwear, mustaches, and mullets are all known modes of transmission of the AGD.
There is no cure. Ask a doctor for treatment options, but they will not be able to help you.
